5 Things Your Anxiety Is Trying to Tell You

Anxiety

Mar 10

Picture this: You're experiencing a perfectly normal situation. Nothing is actually wrong. And yet your chest is tight, your stomach is doing that thing, and your brain is convinced something is about to go sideways.

One of the most common misconceptions about the human brain is that it's always on your side. While it's true that your brain is constantly striving to protect you, it doesn't always go about that in a helpful way.

After all, anxiety comes from the central nervous system and is one of our oldest, most primal tools that is designed to keep us safe. And once you understand what's happening in your brain and body, it gets a lot easier to work with your anxiety instead of against it.

Here's a quick recap on how anxiety, the brain, and the nervous system connect:

Remember the fight-flight-freeze response? That's the body's natural survival mechanism triggered by real or perceived threats. When your brain perceives a threat, it signals the autonomic nervous system to release stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. Your heart rate increases. Your muscles tense. You experience heightened anxiety and panic responses, which are designed to prepare the body to confront or escape danger.

Basically, your brain is giving signals that you are in danger. It doesn't know that you're not out there with a bear and that you're actually anxious about socializing at a party. The psychological and physiological responses are the same.

And while anxiety can feel like pure interference, there is often some level of wisdom there. If your default response is to try to shove the anxiety away (been there) I want to propose an alternative for you: be curious about what that anxiety might be trying to tell you.

If you're ready for a perspective shift, let's dive in.

1. Something is unresolved.

Tension in your muscles, nervous butterflies in your gut (not the good kind), feeling on edge in a perfectly normal situation… these are all triggers. And they may be trying to tell you that whatever situation you're in is reminding your subconscious of something that has happened before. If this is happening often, it may be time to explore what feels unresolved and heal those wounds.

What to do: Start keeping a loose mental (or written) note of your triggers. What situations, people, or dynamics tend to activate your anxiety? Look for patterns. Sometimes just naming "this reminds me of when that shitty thing happened 15 years ago" is enough to create a little breathing room. If the pattern is persistent, ask yourself if there is healing that needs to be done – and work to do that.

2. You need a break.

A common solution to feeling dissatisfied or unfulfilled is to take on more. If I don't feel fulfilled by X, let's try Y and Z too! Another project, another obligation, another attempt to outrun the restlessness. Hate to say it, but this is actually a distraction (see: avoidance) and is usually just a band-aid. If you're feeling restless, on edge, or worried, take note of where those feelings are coming from. It could be a sign that you need to reset and spend a moment away from the many things demanding your attention. (And remember: rest isn't a reward for finishing everything on your list. It's a biological need, and your nervous system will find ways to get your attention when you've been skipping it.)

What to do: Create space for small moments throughout the day where you can intentionally pause, re-center in some way (breathing, stretching, whatever it is) and acknowledge the importance of rest.

3. Trust your gut.

The age-old question: Is this my gut instinct, or is it anxiety? Sometimes, it's both. Take note of the feelings that are coming up for you and be curious about them rather than push away the discomfort. Are you feeling uncomfortable around someone? Are you feeling drained every time you do a particular thing? Listen to those instincts and consider the data they give you – that might be your intuition telling you to think carefully about a particular situation or choice.

What to do: Spend some time getting to know what your intuition feels like. How can you tell that you enjoy something, or dislike something? What happens in your body when you're around someone who feels safe versus someone who doesn't? Practice noticing and differentiating those sensations.

Here’s one of my favorite tricks: when you're facing a low-stakes decision, flip a coin and notice whether you feel relief or disappointment when it lands. Your reaction in that moment usually tells you more than the coin does.

4. You want or need more.

It's easy to get stuck in the rut of everyday life. Wake up, work, take care of others, rinse, and repeat. Worrying about the future, questioning if you're “doing enough” and feeling stuck are all signs that your anxiety might be telling you to find something that gives you a greater sense of purpose. When your day-to-day life becomes disconnected from your values or sense of purpose, your nervous system notices. Fortunately, this doesn't mean you need to quit your job or completely overhaul your life.

What to do: Reflect on what gives you a sense of meaning or connection. When did you last feel engaged with something for the sake of it, not because it was productive or expected? That's a useful compass. Explore new hobbies, re-engage with your social relationships, or do something for yourself that invokes meaning or connects to your values.

5. You need to slow down.

Racing thoughts, a persistent sense of urgency, difficulty relaxing even when you have time to: these are classic signs that your nervous system has been running at high capacity for too long. When you're constantly going a million miles per hour, it's not uncommon to forget about your own needs or over-extend yourself. Most people don't realize they've exceeded their bandwidth until they're deep in burnout, but staying in a chronic state of fight, flight, or freeze has real consequences for your mental and physical health. It affects sleep, focus, relationships, immune function, and so much more.

What to do: Take a deep breath, notice your immediate surroundings, and remind yourself that it's okay to take a moment to re-center. Take an honest look at your commitments and your capacity – not what you think you should be able to handle, but what you're actually handling and how it's affecting you. Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can do for your mental health is say no to something, or ask for help, or simply go to bed earlier.

Anxiety often feels “bad” – but it’s usually telling us something on a subconscious level.

While you definitely don't want to be held hostage by it, it can still be helpful to examine the message behind the anxiety.

Hi, I’m Laura (she/her), a licensed anxiety and trauma therapist.

I provide holistic online therapy in Los Angeles and across California, serving anxious people-pleasers, high achievers, and neurodivergent adults who are ready to explore themselves deeply and live a fuller, more meaningful life. I work with folks navigating anxiety, trauma, neurodivergence, LGBTQIA+ identity, and challenging relationships.

By integrating both experiential and evidence-based techniques, such as ACT, EMDR, Brainspotting, IFS, and mindfulness, I provide therapy that addresses the mind, body, and soul. My goal is to help you feel less anxious, heal from painful past experiences, and find your way back home to yourself.

5 Things Your Anxiety Is Trying to Tell You

Picture this: You're experiencing a perfectly normal situation. Nothing is actually wrong. And yet your chest is tight, your stomach is doing that thing, and your brain is convinced something is about to go sideways.