VIRTUAL IFS THERAPY IN CALIFORNIA
IFS-Informed Therapy
internal family systems / parts work
IFS is a gentle + transformative approach to exploring yourself deeply & connecting with your truest self to create meaningful change.
Get to know — and accept — all parts of you.
How does IFS therapy work?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic model that sees your inner world as layered, complex, and completely natural. It’s based on the idea that we are made up of many internal parts, each with its own story, emotions, needs, and fears. Some parts try to protect you by staying in control. Others carry pain you’ve been trying to avoid for years. And still others jump in with criticism, urgency, or distraction when things feel too intense.
Instead of trying to shut these parts down, IFS helps you get to know them with curiosity and compassion. We want to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface and shift from reacting to responding. That tight, anxious part that never lets you rest? It might be working overtime because it learned years ago that was the only way to keep you safe. The one that goes numb during conflict? It might be trying to avoid shame or rejection because it learned along the way that those are intolerable experiences.
In IFS, every part has a reason for being here, even the ones that seem frustrating, messy, dangerous, or in conflict. You might have a part that gets angry quickly and another part that feels ashamed right after. Or a part that wants to learn healthier ways of coping and another that leans into substances to escape.
This is a system trying to adapt — and protect you.
In our work together, we’ll listen to those parts. You’ll learn how to connect with them, understand their fears and intentions, and help them slowly step back so your core Self can lead the way with clarity, compassion, and confidence. Our ultimate goal with IFS is to cultivate an internal system where your parts can work harmoniously together.
IFS can be especially helpful for folks who’ve done traditional talk therapy but still feel stuck, or for those who have a strong intellectual understanding of their issues but struggle to feel change on a deeper level.
key components of internal family systems:
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A core tenet of IFS therapy is that the mind is made up of many “parts,” each with different needs, fears, roles, and strengths. In this work, you’ll begin to notice the parts that show up — like the perfectionist, the avoider, or the anxious protector — and understand the role each part plays in your internal system.
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Instead of trying to get rid of parts, we learn how to listen to them — yes, even the scary ones. Every part is trying to help in their own way, and we work with those parts to build trust in your Self.
There are three types of parts you will likely encounter during IFS therapy:
Exiles: These are the parts of you that carry pain, shame, fear, or unmet needs, often from childhood. They’re the most vulnerable, and they’re usually pushed away to avoid feeling hurt again.
Managers: These parts work hard to keep things under control. They may show up as perfectionism, overthinking, people-pleasing, or emotional numbness; whatever helps you avoid discomfort or chaos.
Firefighters: When exiled pain breaks through, firefighters jump in fast to shut it down. They might use distraction, anger, substance use, or dissociation to put out the emotional fire.
Again, none of these parts are bad. Many of them carry old pain, fear, or beliefs that were formed long ago, and react the way they do from a protective place. Through guided IFS work, we meet those parts with curiosity and compassion, and help them release what they’ve been holding so they can take on healthier, lighter roles.
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In IFS, “Self” is the calm, compassionate core of who you are. As parts begin to trust Self and become unburned through IFS work, they realize they don’t need to be in such intense roles anymore and step back — allowing Self to step into leadership.
Work with your inner world, not against it.
Does it ever feel like you’re constantly in conflict with yourself?
One part wants to rest. Another says, “That’s lazy.”
One part longs for connection. Another shuts people out.
One part wants to stay calm. Another can’t stop spiraling.
IFS therapy helps you understand these internal dynamics and provides a gentle space to heal the pain keeping your parts stuck.
The beauty of IFS therapy is that it can be whatever it needs to be. It’s flexible, creative, and led without an agenda.
IFS therapy can help you:
𑁍 Understand why you feel pulled in different directions and learn how to honor all these different parts
𑁍 Reduce internal conflict and make sense of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors
𑁍 Befriend your inner critic instead of battling it every day and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself
𑁍 Learn healthy coping and regulation strategies to navigate triggers and difficult emotions
𑁍 Honor your boundaries without guilt or fear
𑁍 Let go of unwanted survival strategies, such as people-pleasing, over-functioning, self-neglect, rage, or perfectionism
𑁍 Respond more compassionately to yourself and others during hard moments
𑁍 Become more present in your relationships by healing attachment and relational wounds and finding healthier ways to get your needs met
𑁍 Heal the younger parts of you still holding on to pain, fear, or shame
𑁍 Feel more whole, integrated, and true to who you are — while navigating your internal landscape with curiosity, creativity, and compassion
IFS therapy is…
gentle
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creative
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exploratory
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non-pathologizing
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flexible
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somatic
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insightful
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gentle • creative • exploratory • non-pathologizing • flexible • somatic • insightful •
FAQs about IFS therapy
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IFS helps you understand your internal system, your various parts, and why they show up the way they do. Whether you're navigating trauma, anxiety, depression, burnout, relationship struggles, or just feeling disconnected from yourself, IFS creates space for deep self-exploration and can help you cultivate a more compassionate relationship with yourself, in addition to relieving the burden that your parts carry.
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Each session is a collaborative exploration of your internal world. We might start by talking about what's been coming up lately, and then gently turn inward to notice the parts that become activated. That might involve noticing thoughts, body sensations, emotions, or images —whatever arises naturally. I’ll guide you in getting to know those parts with compassion, so you can understand their role and intentions, and begin building a trusting relationship with them. Over time, you will learn to collaborate with these parts intentionally as your core Self. You don’t need to know how to do this ahead of time and we will always move at your (and your parts’) pace.
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Though typical therapy sessions are 50 minutes, a longer session time is often beneficial for IFS therapy. I offer 90-minute sessions for folks who are interested in a more spacious IFS experience that allows for deeper exploration.
If you’re interested in IFS therapy but aren’t sure which session length is right for you, please reach out and we can discuss it!
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The length of treatment depends on many factors, as every system and situation is different. Some folks feel significant shifts relatively quickly, with clients often reporting increased awareness and attunement to themselves and their parts after a few weeks. Others benefit from longer-term work to resolve complex issues or engage in ongoing healing and self-exploration.
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Unlike traditional talk therapy, which often focuses on analyzing problems or changing behaviors, IFS invites you to relate to yourself in a different, non-pathologizing way. Instead of trying to get rid of “negative” thoughts or reactions, we explore the parts behind them, hear their stories, and help them release their burdens. It’s also deeply experiential, meaning change isn’t just something you understand on a cognitive level, it’s something you feel somatically.
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Yes, when appropriate! While following an IFS framework, I often integrate tools from EMDR, Brainspotting, ACT, mindfulness, and somatic practices when they’re helpful. Every client is unique, and our work together will be tailored to what best supports you.
To learn more about IFS therapy, check out this video from Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of IFS therapy. You can also check out the IFS Institute for more information.